Sunday, January 28, 2007

Lunesta (actualy, LOONesta read on and you'll see)

So I've always had a helluva time sleeping. I don't have a problem with just getting to sleep, but I also have a problem staying asleep as well. I've had this problem for probably my entire adult life (at least as far back as I can remember). For this problem, I was taking Ambien. It didn't do shit. And when I say "shit"...I mean nuttin, nada, bupkiss, zero, zilch, jack diddly squat...NOTHING! So I went to see my good ol' doc last week and asked her what her thoughts were on the subject (being sleep-deprived a lot of times means ya can't even think for yourself anymore) and she told me she thought I should try Loonesta. Now I know it's really spelled L-U-N-E-S-T-A, but it makes ya so damn loony, I'll spell it my way, thank you very much. The first night I took it, I'll admit, it made me a little drowsy and I slept ok for the most part. I was having this dream that to me seemed more vivid than I had normally remembered my dreams to be. I didn't attribute this to the medicine and moved on with my day. Later that morning, I noticed that every damn thing I ate or drank had such a nasty bitter taste to it, that I couldn't eat or drink anything at all! Everytime I tried, I felt sick because the taste was so bad. I thought maybe I was sick or something, and again...moved on with my day. I've been on the Loonesta now for about 4 days. It's been 4 days of nasty, awful, terrible, rotten bitter tasting EVERYTHING (except things made of chocolate, go figure) and nights filled with just the most vivid, colorful, strange dreams. The dreams don't even feel like they're mine. The only way I can clearly describe it is that it feels like I'm trippin!! The colors are sooooo vivid, the dream is so unreal, yet unbelievably life-like!! The dreams wake me up about 3-4 times a night...and when they wake me, it feels like I'm not me. The dreams don't have me in them, they're not about me...and I don't recognize anyone in them. I'm having SOMEONE ELSE'S dreams!!

This prompted me to do a little Googling on the subject...here is what I found.
When you click here basically what it says is that a shitload of other people have the same problem I have. Exactly...to the letter, same kind of problem. Then...when you click here it says a lot of the same things on the other page only in more detail than before.

I can't believe I finally have an answer to why I've been feeling like I have!
Tonight...it's back to Ambien, let's see what happens.

P.S. I felt so shitty yesterday that I actually had to walk out of my son's wrestling meet and leave him with his dad so I could come home. I've never missed ANYTHING my kids have done outside of school. I was REALLY upset. Fortunately, my boy was really understanding and didn't give me too much of a hard time about it.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Forgot to tell you!

Andy took a silver medal at his wrestling meet on Sunday! Woooohoooooooo! I am SO proud of him! He's got another meet this coming Saturday. I hope he does well!!

Gotta stay up all night

I have an EEG tomorrow morning at 8am and it's required that I be sleep-deprived. So I have to stay up all night. I've managed to wrangle myself a bunch of friends that are willing to IM me and call me at various times throughout the night to keep my sorry ass awake. I sure hope it works! I'm not allowed any caffeine because I guess it changes the EEG, so I'm on my own on this one! I'm sure it'll be ok, but I tell ya...after my 8am appointment, you can bet your sweet ass I'm laying down for a nice, long nap! It always takes three days to get that damn electrode glue outta your hair!! You'd think after 20 years of this shit, they'd find a better way to get them little bastards to stick!

Wish me luck :)

Friday, January 19, 2007

Well, we did it

We filed for physical custody of my stepson. We've been wanting to do this for awhile now but there were certain conditions that had to happen before we could file papers. Now the thing about Wisconsin custody cases is this: EVERY case gets sent to mediation before the case can go to court. I know Scotto's ex-wife, there ain't no way IN HELL she'll mediate anything! Hopefully it doesn't take the mediator long to see she won't be willing to work with them and he'll give up soon so we can get this matter into court and over with.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Somewhat bummed

There are these things that Scotto and I have been wanting to do once we had the money to do them. Unfortunately, I can't go into detail about what these things are, but I assure you, they are not superficial or shallow in nature. They are very important to us and our family. Lately, it seems like right when we get to a point when we think we may be able to achieve our goals...reality happens and we're not able to do what we are wanting to do here. I'm not being selfish or childish, throwing a temper tantrum or having a hissy fit. I'm not being self-absorbed or looking for pity. I'm just stating facts. There is one little person in this world that has been very patient, sitting back and waiting for us to have what we need to get these things done and I feel just awful that we have yet to be able to do them for him.

I just did some creative accounting here, trying to figure out if there was some way to move funds around to make things happen this week...and I just don't see it. Scotto's at work and he doesn't yet know that we aren't going to be able to make it work out again this week. I assure you, this thing we need to do is more important to him than it is to me...not to say that it isn't important to me, because it is. I feel terrible that I have to tell him it's not going to happen.

God, I just hate days like this. Where are these damn money trees anyway???

P.S.

I've had a fever for the past 3 days. I have no other symptoms aside from being tired and having the chills. I had a flu shot this year again and I wonder if I managed to get the flu and the flu shot is just keeping it from getting too bad. I'm sure it'll pass...it's just irritating to feel shitty when I have so much to get done.

Ok...done bitchin'...Andi out

Sunday, January 14, 2007

A busy, busy girl

Friday night, I took my hubby and son to my favorite restaurant about a half hour north of where we live. As always, everything was really yummy, service was quick, but very nice. A good time was had by all. We stopped in to see my sister and sister-in-law afterwards because they live in the city we ate in. It was nice to see them in their new home. They just purchased their first home. They're so excited and are spending most of their time (and unfortunately, their money as well) making their new home exactly what they want it to be.

Saturday, Scott and Josh had plans to go to World of Wheels which was in Milwaukee over the weekend (www.worldofwheels.com) and I had nothing planned. My sister and her wife invited me to come visit them while hubby and kiddo were gone so they drove me up there and then went on their way. Normally, I'd have driven myself but hubby wanted to use my car to go to Milwaukee. Anyway, I went to visit them...we ordered some Chinese from a local restaurant and just sat around chatting, watching some TV and just catching up. It was really nice seeing them again. I don't see them nearly enough.

Today, we have another wrestling tournament for Andy. This one is about 45 minutes away. They are usually all-day events. I hope the snow stays away long enough for us to get there and back. After we get home, I need to get to the grocery store. They originally said it wasn't suppose to snow until tonight but now it looks like it'll snow all dayum day. I sure hope it doesn't snow too bad while we're out. Wish my kid some luck on his wrestling tournament today!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Kentucky Fried BITCHIN

We live in a relatively small community. There are two villages very close to each other. I live in one of them...the other is so close that you hardly know you're leaving ours when you go into the other one. Around here, we have very limited resources when it comes to fast food choices. You should have seen the party this town threw when we got a McDonald's AND a Taco Bell in the same year!

Anyway, today we decided we wanted to get something different than burgers or tacos so we stopped at the local KFC. Normally, we don't go there because they have THE NASTIEST drive-thru staff in the entire state. It's truly an awful experience. Today, was no different. After being treated like second-rate citizens by someone that clearly makes little more than minimum wage and has a chip on her shoulder about it...we were told to pull over into the first parking stall and wait. Twenty minutes later, some young girl comes out with not only our food...but the food for the guy that was behind me and the lady that was behind HIM as well! I understand it's cold outside and my daddy always told me to "work smart, not hard" but C'MON...we waited 20 minutes so they gather up more than one order and bring them out all at once? How ridiculous is that?? Especially considering the fact that none of those folks working inside are near nice enough for someone to have to wait that long in the drive-thru. I don't know about you all, but I personally don't mind waiting a little longer if the food is good and the service is pleasant. Maybe that's just me.

They gave me a receipt with a website address on it to go and take a survey and possibly win $1000. Maybe I'll fill that baby out...and if I'm lucky, I can win some money too!

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Safe Place

Whenever someone in this house wants to put something away so that it can be found again later, we say we're putting it in a "safe place". Two things should be known about the safe place...

#1: The safe place is never the same for everyone in the house.

#2: The reason the safe place is so safe is because no one can ever remember where the safe place is.


This is what happened to me today. A few weeks ago, my friend Tina was over here showing me the newest pictures of her daughter. Her daughter is 18 months old and is sooooo cute! Anyway, I took a 5 x 7 of her daughter and a couple wallets and immediately declared that I was going to put them in a safe place so nothing would happen to them before I could figure out the perfect frame to put them in. Today, Tina and I were talking on the phone about how the house looks so empty now that the Christmas stuff is down and she asked me if I'd ever gotten around to putting her daughter's picture up. Panic quickly set in. WHERE?!? OH GOD...WHERE IS THAT DAMN SAFE PLACE AGAIN???

Scotto and I tore this house apart looking for them pictures. We were down here, upstairs, in the basement, in closets and drawers, and envelopes. I was just about to pull my hair out when I decided to open this little drawer that sits under the table my printer is on. SURE ENOUGH!!! There they were! Sitting nice and safe on the bottom of the drawer, where nothing would EVER happen to them. Yaaaaaaaaay! I found them! What a freakin' genius I am!! LOL

So now, while I await the delivery of my genius medal...I'm spending some time making the perfect frame so that I don't lose put them away in a "safe place" again!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Finally found the time...

To take ALL my Christmas stuff down. Everything! The lights on the windows, all the knick knack stuff, all the stuff on the walls...and of course, the tree! I'm happy I got it all down, but now the room feels SO empty. I miss having that beautiful Christmas stuff up all around the house. It felt homey and warm in here. Now...it's just plain ol' Andi again. *sigh* I moved some things around a little bit here and there and added a few things so the house doesn't look EXACTLY like it did before...but it sure does look empty!! lol

Saturday, January 06, 2007

What a LONG day!

Today was Andy's first wrestling tournament. Here's what one of these things is like:

Registration starts at 7am (even though everyone's already pre-registered weeks in advance)...

Then we have weigh-ins...takes about 5 minutes...

Then we sit around for 2 hours while they set up brackets for the tournament...

Then we wait another hour because someone screwed up...

Wrestlers start wrestling somewhere around 11-11:30am...

3 rounds of wrestling at 1.5 hours each round = 4.5 hours of wrestling of which YOUR kid will actually wrestle (if he's lucky) for a grand total of 13.5 minutes...

Go get your medal, trophy, or whatever they're giving out that day...

Sometime around 4-4:30pm...leave the building and drive home from whatever city is hosting the tournament. Today, we were lucky, the city was only a half an hour away. They do these tournaments on Saturdays AND Sundays and some of them are 2 hours away! I love my son like no one else LOL but I think his dad will be stepping up on this one and taking him to some of his meets lol

I'm EXHAUSTED!!

I had one of those night's of sleep last night where I kept looking at the clock thinking maybe 2 hours or so had gone by and found that it had only been like 5 minutes...I think I got about an hour's worth of sleep last night with all that waking up. I got up at 4:30am cuz I had to pee, and decided to take a shower then, to save some time and try to get rid of this burdgeoning backache I was getting. I went back to bed, but didn't sleep...and finally rousted my ass out of bed at about 6:15am. I hope to sleep better tonight!!

Friday, January 05, 2007

I twitch...therefore I am

This is just driving me NUTS! Everytime I get even remotely comfortable and I start to relax, my whole body goes into this convulsive thing where it jerks really hard once. It's happened so many times now, it's actually getting painful! I've had it and I've seen it when ya first fall asleep and ya get that hypnic jerk thing where all your muscles spasm at once. But once it happens once, it usually goes away. This happens everytime I start to relax. It's even happening at times when I'm not sleeping yet. I'm just relaxed, eyes closed or open doesn't matter...and then WHAM! One really violent jerking movement and I'm awake again! It's starting to affect my general demeanor. I'm not even a nice person anymore these days! LOL This lack of sleep thing is completely destroying my whole nice-girl persona! lol I'm yellin at people left and right!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Banished to...

The land of no sleep!! Two nights in a row, numbers of drugs to try to sleep and still...NUTTIN! 3 hours is all I'm allowed then I'm up! Up! up! UPPPPPPPPP!


I'm a little frustrated right now.

Any suggestions? I know I probably don't have any readers anymore...but I'll take suggestions from ANYONE at this point...

If anyone is reading this, I'm gonna guess you're wondering why I haven't blogged in 6 months. I think I just got so hung up on the day-to-days of life that I didn't think I'd have anything interesting to blog about. I was getting REALLY good at hiding my emotions and just plodding along through my life.

Well, I quit smoking again January 1st. When I'm not smoking, I'm emotional and very raw for awhile, so I thought NOW would be the perfect time to start blogging again. But beware, I'm really raw and open about how I feel about things these days and I'm not good at censoring.

So I guess we'll see what happens!