Well, I'm home from my mammogram. What an experience I must say! They put this gown on ya (yeah another that doesn't fit) and then 2 minutes later tells you to take it off. Why bother having it in the first place? I ask myself. Then this lady comes over and says "point to your lump". So I find it for her and she puts a sticker on it. I guess I was figuring that this lump would automatically show up on the mammogram, but apparently I was wrong. Then she has me go over to "the machine" which I will lovingly refer to as the BOOBINATOR from here on out. So she grabs my boob and slaps it on the slab in the boobinator. She has me lean this way, and that way all the time, picking up my boob, pulling on it and putting it back down on the boobinator slab. So we finally get it right and she hits the button. The top see-thru slab comes down on it and squashes it pretty good. She says to me "How are we doing?" Yeah WE...we my ass! I don't see HER boob in the boobinator! But I politely say "I'm fine" and then she hits the button again and the bottom slab of the boobinator comes up and squashes the boob even more. Now I'm looking down at my very flat, pancake-looking boob. She says "How are we doing??" Again with that we shit! I wanted to say "Oh yeah babyyyyyyyy I'm just freakin dandy!" but what I said was "I'm fine". She walks around (taking her sweet nature time while I'm in the boobinator) and stands behind this glass wall thing and hits the x-ray button. Then the boobinator frees me from it's clenches. She moves on to the other one, and we repeat this process all over again. Then she moves the boobinator so it is on it's side and has me put my boob back in there so they can squash it sideways! The same process is repeated only this time my boob is in the boobinator, I have my arm on the edge, my chest is leaning forward, my butt is sticking way out and finally she asks me to stick my chin up toward the ceiling. I'm not sure who these people think we are but I have never felt so twisted in all my life!
It's over now. I lived through it. It didn't hurt quite as bad as I thought it would and was still able to do some grocery shopping afterward. I must confess though, once we got the groceries put away here at home...I took my bra and top off and made Scott inspect my booble region for any signs of squash marks.
What a day!
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3 comments:
LOL sweetthing tells me the same thing. She allows it is bad enough that the bitch tortures her but the bitch seems to enjoy doing it. We my ass!" I love it.
OH just wait til you are old enough to have to have that done every damn year!
Oh I'm just quivering with anticipation of that day! lol
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