I got to see Scotto for a full 25 hours this weekend! I'm thrilled to death that we were able to spend some time together. It's always nice to have him home, to have him in bed again. I always sleep so much better when he's here.
I love my husband with all my heart and soul. I know he feels the same way. We have a very solid, loving, respectful, supportive marriage. We are always there for one another, we have great communication and we always seem to work our way through any problems that arise.
Here comes the confession...
My loving husband and I have not had sex in over a year. It's not something we decided upon. It just sort of happened. It started out that things were just a little crazy. We didn't have a whole lot of time, much less the privacy that we would have liked to spark that area of our lives. As time went on, it just became this "thing" we wanted to do, but never really got around to. At first, it didn't bother me. I figured there would be time for that part of our life when things settled down some. Lately however I have been starting to miss it. I wondered why it was it has been so long. I asked my loving husband about it and his answer was that he just "didn't have the urge anymore". I know it's not a physical problem as that is certainly not an issue. I think I'd feel better if it were physical. The way it stands now, it's hard for me not to wonder if it's just that he's not attracted to me anymore. He says he is. He says that's not the problem. I love my husband and would NEVER consider cheating on him. He knows that.
We use to have this tremendous sex life. In the beginning, it was fantastic! We had lots of fun in that area and were always looking for new experiences. I miss that part of our lives. I told him so this weekend. He said he thought maybe he should see someone about it. I've heard that before, so I'm not putting all my eggs in that basket, but I can't help but wonder how it managed to go this far. Every other aspect of our marriage is great! We have a connection that just seems to work. No matter what we've been through (and I assure you, we've been through alot), we always seem to land on our feet.
I guess my problem now is that I seriously have to consider that I am only 34 years old and it's a very real possibility that I may not have sex again. I don't want to do it just for the sake of doing it and I most certainly don't want it from someone else. I just want to feel that connection to him that we have been missing for so long. It's important to me. To me, it's not physical. Hell, I can get physical with myself! It's that connection, that closeness that I miss so much. I would never leave him over something like this...but I do wish that we could work on it and get that part of our lives back.
I sure would like to know what y'all think. Would you leave your man if the sex stopped? Would you cheat? Would you stay? And men...is this a normal thing for guys as they get older? He's 49 years old...does that have something to do with it? Would you guys stay with your wife/girlfriend if your sex life ended?
Let me know what you think! I'd love to hear some thoughts on this.
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7 comments:
It's normal hun, try to schedule some alone intimate time for just the two of you. hugs
No, actually it is not normal Andi. Encourage him to see a doctor. There atrea lot of things that can sap sexual desire out of a man. Stress and long hours at work usually do it but there are some other things to such as low hormones that are easily treated with a shot or even with a hormone salve. If he is capable but just doesn't have the desire I would suspect a low ( can't spell it ) tertesterone count. And, no sex drive can also be a symptom of other medical problems as well. I would say a visit with the doc is in order.
If I loved a man that much, yes I would stay with him despite the lack of physical intimacy, but I would - as GUYK said - urge him to see a doctor. Emotional problems such as depression can also affect libido. Hang on in there pet, hope all works out for you, and hold on to as much of the rest of the closeness as you possibly can! x
Thanks all! Scott and I have talked about him seeing a doctor for his libido issues. He said he's willing to go. I have no doubt that he will (once he gets done procrastinating lol).
Oh that is good news :) Hope it all works out! x
WOW! That is a tough one. I would stay with my guy for sure BUT, there would have to be something done. I am very driven in that department and would fine it very difficult. I don't think I would end my marriage over it however, if he loves you and want to care for you AND your needs he really should seek help in that area of his life. For the sake of you and your relationship if nothing else.
There really needs to be that in a marriage for it to be complete. I had a friend that this happen to and their marriage ended as a result. Naturally, that was not the only reason but,it was a big part.
Good Luck!
I'm catching up on your blog and found this post. I must say my husband and I have only had sex about one time in the past ten years. Yes. Ten years. He went to the doctor and he did have low testosterone, so had a series of shots, but that didn't seem to make any difference. He doesn't respond to viagra or one of the other medications made for this. In the beginning, we were very active too - but all of a sudden it just dropped off. I know he is faithful to me and I'm faithful to him. I just 'help myself' (oh, that sounds bad, doesn't it?) get over the rough patches and we're still close and loving - we hug and kiss a lot and give each other backrubs, that kind of thing. It just doesn't really go further. He can't respond.
I hope the doctor can help your husband. It is a part of a marriage that I would say isn't critical, but is a very nice benefit.
For obvious reasons I'm not putting this out on my blog because he reads it and I really don't want to embarrass him...
You can e-mail me if you want to discuss further...
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